I Don’t Want To Go To The Club!

July 11th, 2009 by cbwilkins | Posted in Picture blog, Text blog |

That’s right, I said it. I don’t want to go to the club. I have absolutely no desire to. And you know what, I’m not going to. Hell, the way I figure it, I don’t ever have to go to a club ever again. I’m a grown ass man and I can decide what I want to do and what I don’t want to do, and I don’t want to go to a freaking club.

” alt=”I don’t want to go to the club!” />

First of all, they’re too damn loud. Sure, say I’m old, but whatever, the music, which is terrible music that I don’t like and don’t want to hear, is so loud that you can’t possibly talk to anyone. Isn’t the point of going out to meet people? How are you really meeting anyone if you can’t talk to them? Stupid. Also, I don’t dance. Sure, if I’m messing around I might dance a little, but I think dancing is ridiculous. I just don’t get it. Sure, I see that people are good at it, but why? It’s just moving in time; what good does that do anybody?

You know what else, I don’t drink. Nope, never have, probably never will. I’ve just never had any desire to. Frankly, I’m a pretty fun dude, and I have a good time, so why do I need to drink? Well, that’s half the point of going to the club, to drink. So yeah, if you take that out of the equation, then you’re left with the music and the dancing, and we’ve already covered my feelings on that.

Alright, so I hate the atmosphere, but people go to the club for another reason, to meet members of the opposite sex. Well, as I pointed out, you can’t really talk to anyone, so you’re left with the completely shallow and faulty system of judging people based on their looks. Let’s be honest, I’m not a guy who’s going to win anyone over based on how I look:

Now granted, I’m not a C.H.U.D. or anything, but I’m not the kind of guy that causes a girl to say, “Damn, I gotta get me some of that!” And that’s what the club is all about, instant, split second decisions about the way things are presented, not how they are. I’m the kind of guy that needs to win you over with my personality, cause I’m awesome, but you can’t do that at the club.

So yeah, maybe when I was younger I’d go to the club for something different, or to make a half-assed attempt at meeting women, but fuck it, I’m 27. I’m old and I have no interest in going to the club, so I’m not going. So stop asking me to go to The Fucking Wave! I’m not going!