Why It Pays To Become Moderately Successful
Last week there was a lot of buzz about actress Christina Henrdricks, one of the stars of AMC’s show Mad Men. If you don’t know who she is, she’s the insanely hot redhead:
Apparently she went to some awards show and wore this dress that made her look even more stunning and that got a bunch of folks excited (check out her IMDB page, her popularity rose four thousand percent in a week). For whatever reasons I couldn’t find pictures of the dress today when I was looking for them, but as you can see from that picture above, she’s a very busty woman, I don’t know bust sized but I’d guess she’s a Quadruple Z, and the dress really accentuated that quality.
Personally, I don’t watch Mad Men, apparently I should, and one day I’m sure I’ll watch the DVDs, but I didn’t need some dress to let me know how crazy gorgeous Christina Hendricks is. Anyone who knows me knows I love redheads, love them like crazy. Something about that hair and pink skin just gets me. I mean, her insanely large bust is nice, but it’s not something I’d go crazy over; frankly, you take that same gorgeous redhead and give her a flat chest and I’d probably feel the same about her. So I’d been enamored with Ms. Henricks since the first time I saw a picture of her. In fact, this week I found out she was in a few episodes of the show Firefly, which was what the movie Serenity was based on, so it turns out that I was into her way before she ever showed up on Mad Men. One of the best things about the Firefly DVD was seeing one of the unaired episodes where her character came back; like, “Oh, there’s that crazy hot redhead, I’m gonna like this episode.”
But what got me interested in talking about her was that I found out who she’s engaged to. I saw a picture and I couldn’t believe it so I did some research, which really amounted to a Google search, and it’s true, she’s engaged to Geoffrey Arend. Who? Yeah, I’d ask the same thing, because even though I couldn’t recognize his name offhand, I did recognize him. So Christina Hendricks, this world class beauty, and a redhead to boot!, is going to marry this guy:
Still don’t know who he is? Well, most recently he was in (500) Day of Summer where he played Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s best friend, which is pretty much the role he always plays. I also especially remember him from an episode of Undeclared, where he showed off a mean Christopher Walken impression, and from the made-for-TV movie Porn n’ Chicken, but most folks probably haven’t seen those. He’s probably most memorable from what was actually his first role, in the opening scene of Super Troopers. He was the kid in the back seat of the car that had to eat all the drugs and ended up licking the glass in the cop car.
Still, even if you kind of remember him from these roles, you have to admit, he’s not very famous, or even very successful. Sure, he’s managed to work as an actor for the last decade, which is a major accomplishment, but he hasn’t really put himself on the map. Yet somehow, the moderate amount of success he’s had has afforded him the opportunity to marry a woman like Christina Hendricks. Seriously, those two are getting married. Look at those pictures, the crazy hot redhead is marrying the schlub with the kind of weird face and what-the-hell-is-going-on-up-there? haircut. Don’t believe me? That’s fine, I wouldn’t either, but there’s proof all over the place:
Now, he’s not the ugliest dude in the world, not even close, but she’s way out of his league. She’s out of most human beings’ league. Nevertheless, they’re on the verge of legally binding themselves to one another. Personally, I can’t find another logical reason for this than the fact that he’s moderately successful. Is that maybe an unfair assessment? Absolutely. The guy probably has a great personality, he always comes off as very likable and is very, very funny, so I’m sure that doesn’t hurt things. And it’s pretty likely that she’s just an awesome person who values personality over looks. Face it, she almost has to be. Sure, she’s got some hype right now because of Mad Men, but aside from that she’s never been in anything worth noting and even on the show she’s not one of the main stars, so really, on the scale of fame, Christina Hendricks is at about the same level as Geoffrey Arend. But, she’s also an absolutely gorgeous woman who could have her pick of any man, particularly since she’s somewhat famous. yet, she chooses this guy. As unbelievable as this coupling is to me, my only real conclusion is that these are just two really great people getting together, her because she chose him, out of literally anyone, and him because he better be a great person if he’s not rich or famous and she chose him.
I’ve been rambling and feel like I’ve lost my point, but what I’m really getting at is despite my assumption that both Goeffrey Arend and Christina Hendricks are great people, the reality is that the only reason this pair happens is because he’s successful in a high profile industry. You would never see this in regular life. If I ever ran across a run-of-the-mill couple that was this disproportionate in looks my first assumption would be that the guy is rich. And you’re lying if you say you wouldn’t think the same thing. The fact is, average to below average dude, no matter how great their personality, can’t get well above average women (or above average or even average for that matter) to be interested in them unless they’re either financially successful or socially successful. Some people would think I’m sexist for saying that, but that’s just a naive way of looking at things. Face it, if Geoffrey Arend was just some dude, and Christina Hendricks was just some chick, he’d never have a chance. She’d shove him into The Friend Zone, date assholes, and complain to him how there aren’t any great men out there.
We’re trying hard here at dropout productions, and while some of us (not me) have been accused of doing all this to try to get women, the reality is we just don’t want to live average lives. We have ideas and stories inside of us and we’d love to make a decent living making them come to life. But, in all honesty, the idea that a moderate amount of success is enough to make it possible for a completely average guy to snare a world class woman make me want to succeed very badly. I’d never go out of my way to say I want to do well for the perks, but man, if a crazy hot redhead is part of the perks then I guess I’m all about the perks. So bless you Geoffrey Arend, because if a fugly, barely successful nothing like you can get a gorgeous, busty, redheaded, pink goddess like Christina Hendricks then there’s hope for us all.
You must be logged in to post a comment.